Talking in my sleep

Written by Steve Hillier

WheN January 2003

Where Stockholm, Sweden

Originally sung by STEVE Hillier

Features Roland S-760

“They come to me with a plan…”

And the plan in this case was to do more Dubstar. I had a growing sense of unfinished business, of opportunities squandered but not yet out of reach. And as Andy Ross put it, the answer to the question ‘why more Dubstar?’ could be ‘why not?’. Brilliant! Let’s do it.

I spent much of the 00s doing four things. Writing for Future Music, helping Claire start her company, teaching songwriting at BIMM and Point Blank, and flying around the world as a professional songwriter. The contrast between writing for myself (which until this point meant writing for Dubstar) and writing for other people is chalk and cheese. Writing for yourself? Anything goes. Writing for someone else? Almost nothing is good enough, there is no room for humour, little room for art, you have one task: write a hit.

I learned more about how the music industry works after Dubstar ended than during the seven years working with Food, EMI and latterly Parlophone. In the 90s we were sheltered from the economic realities of the music world because we were the ‘talent’. And despite the fact, or maybe because we never had fully functioning management, the label managed to keep us out of almost all of the economic considerations that go on with any act. I truly believe that was a good thing, why be worrying about your bank account when you’re about to go onstage at Glastonbury?

As a pro-writer you have no such privilege. You’re not the talent, you’re a supplier. And although the thing you supply is the most valuable asset in the industry i.e. the song, you are also in business. You write for money, your art is to marry the great emotion in music with the supply of a hit. You get the privilege to enjoy that opportunity by either being a well known hit writer, or an unknown who’s extraordinarily talented and so will be well known soon. Being the songwriter in Dubstar certainly helped in my career transition. A lot. 

During this transition I discovered to my relief that I could write (and ghostwrite) hits for others. I also discovered I could write songs that sound like hits for other artists, which is often just as good. This revelation kept me in money and excitement almost all the way through the first decade of the twenty first century. Quite a time.

Talking in my Sleep is a song I wrote in my first writing session during my very first writing trip to Stockholm in the dark winter of 2003. I’d already fallen in love with the city on our first Nordic tour seven years previously, but this was something else. I was there for a week, this was me living like a Stockholmer. I loved it, I’ve returned over a dozen times, even taken tentative steps to move there.

But being a writer for hire has significant downsides, and this song exhibits a couple of them. In an attempt to be universally popular, it’s easy to believe that your work should be generic, not offend anyone so everyone likes you. Yet in music, as in life, that doesn’t work. I didn’t realise that Talking In My Sleep was too polite to succeed until I played the Stephen Hague produced version to a class full of songwriting students at BIMM. It was fine, Stephen had done a great job as usual but the song was an average between REM and Sheryl Crow, and that was entirely my fault. In that moment it was clear to me this wasn’t how Dubstar should be sounding in 2006, and when one young chap put up his hand and said ‘I thought you would be making music that was a bit more…out there?’ I knew this was not how to bring a dead and decaying act from the 90s back to life.

Have another try…

We Still Belong

Written by STEVE Hillier

When November 2005

Where Hove, Sussex

ORIGINALLY SUNG BY Sarah Blackwood

FEATURES Roland S-760, Yamaha CP-70B, Fender Rhodes, Korg MS-20

YOUTUBE LINK TO LOST & FOUNDLAND VERSION

“We never lied”  

There was talk of Sarah doing more Dubstar. We’d stayed in regular contact over the years and our vapour trails probably crossed on her way to Slovakia to play gigs with Client and me on my songwriting trips to Stockholm. I was excited, it felt right. I had an ongoing sense of Dubstar having more to say, we were cutoff too soon.

So I started writing songs specifically for the return. But given the heartache and drama from the 1990s which were constantly nagging in the back of my mind, I needed to reassure myself that this was a good idea…

I wrote this song to prove to myself it could be done, that it should be done. Initially We Still Belong was a statement: ‘hey, we’re back!’ Did you forget about us? Well we’re here, now please move over and make space’. Hooray! 

But that’s simply not the kind of song I write. Also, I’d spent the previous three years listening to nordic heroes such as Sigur Rós and Mew in the villa in Spain. That was the music I wanted to make, huge melodic and dramatic expressions of joy and angst. Isn’t that what Dubstar always was anyway? 

So I changed my song. ‘We Still Belong’ became a lyrical development on the theme that Human League explored in their classic ‘Dreams Of Leaving’ from Travelogue. It concerns that feeling of having to get away…and not knowing whether leaving will make things better. An expression of fear. It’s my favourite Human League song by far.

And We StIll Belong is one of my favourites of those mid-00s compositions because I felt I’d hit the balance right on every level. The melody, the words, the structure, the pianos, the direction. And, crucially for me, it sounded like 2005, not 1995. This song was pointing the direction ahead and the space we could occupy. We still belonged.

Twenty First Century

Written by STEVE Hillier

When March 2006

Where HOVE, SUSSEX

Originally sung by Sarah Blackwood

Features EXS24, YAMAHA CP-70B, Korg MS-20

“There’s a gap in the twenty first century…"

With thanks to Drop Nineteens, the superlative shoegaze band from Delaware.

Although I’d enjoyed much of their work, and we had Stephen Hague and Newcastle upon Tyne in common, I’d never been a ‘fan’ of Pet Shop Boys. I get them, I know why people like them and they have some fabulous songs, some of which I love, no debate. Yet I always felt I should like them more than I do. Then their song ‘Twentieth Century’ popped into my ears and touched something within me, something about Dubstar: “Sometimes the solution is worse than the problem”. What a line. Maybe not doing Dubstar was worse than attempting a re-union? How badly could it go?

I’ve never been interested in nostalgia, so when writing Twenty First Century I was pondering on ‘what would a new act say today in 2006?’…not what might a group from the 90s be talking about in a new era. Also, I was having a hard time deciphering what had made the 90s sound like the 90s so I could avoid doing that again (quick note to self: nostalgia sells, you’re an idiot, get over yourself). Consequently, and trying much too hard to be innovative, I wrote a song that had only a kick drum in it, a nod to Swedish act The Field… and no bass line, which was a nod to Prince. This song is like a dub reggae version but without the reggae. Chris played some beautiful broken chords and Sarah delivered a very straightforward, even Tennantesque vocal. Exactly what the song required.

What is fascinating to me in revisiting the Dubstar songs from this era is how I can hear a nascent maturity that was entirely absent from Make It Better. For the first time in the history of the act there was nothing to prove, and we sounded like that too. There was nothing to lose either, everything to gain and for the first time in years, we were relaxing together and getting stuff done. The working environment in my apartment on a Victorian square in Hove already invoked a sense of accomplishment… and some ghosts too. Great music comes from combinations of people in a specific and definable place, an aspect that I think was missing from the many remote writing sessions I’ve completed over the years. Well, in 2006 Dubstar were in Hove and sounding better than ever. This would be our twenty-first century.

A World Without Me

Written by STEVE Hillier

When April 2007

Where HOVE, SUSSEX

Originally sung by Sarah Blackwood

Features EXS24, YAMAHA CP-70B, Korg MS-20

“You'll see a world without me, yes...you will”

I’m often inspired by other people’s song titles, such as Echobelly’s ‘I can’t imagine the world without me’. It’s a strong philosophical point. You spend your whole existence with you in the middle, how would you feel if you weren’t there? Maybe that’s the sound of one hand clapping? You can’t feel nothing if you don’t exist.

A World Without Me felt like another potential single at the time but was ultimately forgotten. My fondest memories of this song were the first steps in its writing, which I’d completed on acoustic guitar by the open fire in Hove. I was suffering a terrible cold, and contemplating dying in that peculiar man-flu way. What better way to pass the time than write about not-existing in a song for Dubstar? 

And seeing as Dubstar had no manager and no record label, I was able to write something in 6/8 that would actually survive an A&R process. This time it was an upbeat Northern Soul swing, like you find on Tainted Love. It also featured lyrical repetition in the chorus vocal in a way I hadn’t tried since Self Same Thing’s ‘ba ba bas’. It still sounds great today.

Well done everyone.

Counting

Written by STEVE Hillier

When September 2007

Where HOVE, SUSSEX

Originally sung by SARAH BLACKWOOD

FeatureS FXpansion’s BFD, YAMAHA CP-70B

That rarest of things, a Dubstar instrumental. Could have been a terrific B-Side if such a thing had existed in 2007.

This composition was the moment where I felt that we’d nailed how the fourth Dubstar album should sound. As the landfill indie bands were fondling analogue synthesisers and squeezing beeps and burps onto their 60s revival songs, we would go a different route, organic and exciting. We’d put the electric grand in the foreground and concentrate on real playing… like an older second cousin to Keane’s Hopes and Fears if you squinted really hard.

And even writing this today in March 2020 I think that was precisely the right decision. It made sense on every level…it was an innovation for the act but the door was still open to go back to that 90s sound if we needed to because the two approaches were linked. Using so much piano enabled the songs to speak for themselves, and Chris would finally have someone else to play with (as opposed to computers and samplers).

In reality, very little had changed with the Dubstar sound. The drums were still samples, but this time delivered by Fxpansions BFD (I’d reviewed it for Future Music magazine and fallen in love), the bass guitar was from Spectrasonic’s Trilogy and everything else was from my Roland Juno-106, Korg Mono/Poly, Korg MS-20, and the Yamaha CP-70B. A perfect combination of instruments. That was it, the sound was right and everyone was on board, this was going to be ace!

Gemini

Written by STEVE Hillier

When September 2007

Originally sung by SARAH BLACKWOOD

Features FXpansion’s BFD, YAMAHA CP-70B, Boss Dimension-c pedal

SPOTIFY LINK TO LOST & FOUNDLAND VERSION

YOUTUBE LINK TO PIANO VERSION

“Newcastle stone”

At the heart of every Dubstar song is the lyric, it’s the reason the song exists. The lyric within Gemini was inspired by Frog Prince by Keane, although you’d never guess that from hearing it. It’s one of my favourite Keane songs (and they have two others that come close, why do I never like the hits???). What appeals is that sense of storytelling, but without actually telling a story. Just hinting at what’s going on. 

Gemini is the tale of a man trapped in the past, a metaphorical castle that his love created, long gone, from which that he would never escape. This song was inspired by countless conversations I’d recently had with men of my age. There seemed a creeping bitterness among them, cynicism, a sense of defeat in their voices. Their youth had evaporated and they no longer had a role in the world. They’d even stopped trying to find one and resented the rest of the world for carrying on. And so often this sense of being forgotten began in relationships where they had been ‘done wrong’ by a woman…although whenever I listened carefully it was obvious that the women in question had done nothing wrong at all. It was the men who’d messed it all up by being reliably useless (at best), reliably destructive (at worse) or unreliable (most commonly). 

Gemini is seeing someone stranded in their life, trapped in a past that’s receding into the distance every day. Where they don’t realise it, but they’ve spent their entire lives blaming others for their own mistakes, blaming others for how disappointing their lives have turned out to be. I think this is one of the best songs Dubstar ever recorded, definitely in the top ten.

It’s unusual for a song of mine as there’s no chorus of any kind, just verses. Another reason why I love it so much.

WE’RE GREAT

Written by STEVE Hillier

When September 2006

Where HOVE, SUSSEX

Originally sung by STEVE Hillier

Features FXpansion’s BFD, YAMAHA CP-70B, Boss Dimension-c pedal

Spotify Link

YOUTUBE LINK TO PIANO VERSION

“Let’s pretend I don’t care enough to fight”

The Yamaha CP-70B changed my life, in the middle of the naughties this was my instrument.

I’d fallen in love with the sound of this piano working with Keane in 2002. A hybrid between a piano and an electric guitar, it looks like a box made of Tolex and sounds like nothing else. The Keane boys made it theirs on their first two albums, and pretty much have the final say on what you can do with this electric grand.

I bought mine from Gary Numan in 2006. He’d had it stored away in his garage for decades, and when I came to take a look, it truly stank of mould and neglect. But it was a wonderful moment…two keyboard fanatics setting up an ageing bit of kit on a driveway in Sussex, a piano that hadn’t seen the light of day in decades…and it worked perfectly. No need to remind me to smile eh?

Many of the Dubstar recordings from this era are dominated by the sound of the CP-70B, with We’re Great being a prime example. You can bash away for hours on this instrument, and as long as you have the sustain pedal down you’ll probably end up with something worth listening to. We’re Great is another example of my writing inspired by the work of Vini Reilly. He’d released what would be his best album in Keep Breathing and was a revelation on many levels, that an artist could release so many records and yet still have his best work within him almost thirty years into his career.

This song was completed between Chris and I but Sarah never managed to sing the vocals. It was abandoned after the whole Client kerfuffle, so the only surviving recording has me on vocals, just like The Joans. I imagined it could be the opening song on the new album. Sadly not.

My Life

Written by STEVE Hillier

When April 2008

Originally sung by SARAH BLACKWOOD

Features FXpansion’s BFD, YAMAHA CP-70B, Boss Dimension-c pedal

“Give me cards marked with platinum and no maximum, let me spend”

It was 2008 and the world was in a financial mess. Personal borrowing had gone ‘pop’, every day there was a new story about the crash, commentators explaining to an ignorant populace why their futures were lost (sound familiar?). And it’s not that difficult to trace the Brexit catastrophe back to the financial crisis and the austerity the Tories chose as their unforgivably incompetent response.

My Life was the first of a few songs where I was trying to express the shock and surprise that the people close to me were experiencing as their lines of credit ended and the receivers moved in. I’d experienced this changing landscape of finance on a few occasions before, it fascinates me. And if I’m ever asked “what would you have done if Dubstar hadn’t taken off” I say “I’d still be a DJ… or an economist”. Thankfully I’ve never been in debt, but I’ve had bailiffs knocking on my door on several occasions looking for errant flatmates who had splurged a few grand on a Hi-Fi not realising they’d have to pay for it with their own money one day. And I have been poor…

2008 was different. 2008 was everywhere, 2008 is still with us now. This song is the moment when the house falls down and bankruptcy is your only means of forgiveness, your only chance of escape. My Life originally featured HUGE synthesiser chords and a rolling chord sequence, just like Stars fifteen years earlier. The breakbeats are there, backing vocals, the whole works. This completed version is much more stripped back, another nod to Stars. A worthy successor.

There are three finished versions of this song, including one mixed by my great friend Phil Bodger who had worked on Japan’s Tin Drum album, as well as all of the Lighthouse Family songs. Have I mentioned my connection with the Lighthouse Family? One day, maybe… another mix was by Tim Mason in Malta. I think they have lighthouses there too. 

IS THERE ANYWAY BACK FROM HERE?

Written by STEVE Hillier, Naim Cortazzi & Jon Meredith

When AUGUST 2003

Where HOVE, SUSSEX & Leicester

Originally sung by Naim Cortazzi

Features FXpansion’s BFD, YAMAHA CP-70B, Korg MS-20, Roland Juno-106

“We’ve fought we for years and we’re left with nothing”

The moment you realise you’ve written a hit, something happens. It’s better than any drug, it takes over on a deeper level. A combination of excitement, validation, optimism and relief, all rolled into one.

If you’re really lucky you can achieve this experience more than once with the same song. First when you complete the writing of the song, secondly when you demo it, and the third time when it comes pouring out of the studio speakers, mixed and ready to be taken to radio. I had this with Anywhere and Stars…a similar experience with Manic too. None of us felt it was going to be a single until we heard the Stephen Hague mixes up in Chappel Studios. Wow!

And there was a wow with this song too. It was my first cowrite for Dubstar that wasn’t with the other band members. I’d met Dizzy Valise in Leicester back in 2001 and made some recordings as their producer. Jon and Naim’s No Way Back had a different lyric, a slightly different tune, different structure. I had a similar reaction on hearing it to that which I had on hearing Not So Manic Now eight years earlier…this song is great, can I make it better? So I rewrote the lyrics, adjusted the melody and restructured the song for Dubstar. Chris and I demoed it on many occasions. Lily Fraser, a fantastic singer from Bristol sang vocals at one stage. None have nailed it yet though, because…

It’s a very difficult song to sing with so many words (sorry Lily, Tom, Sarah et al) and requires a rhythmical dexterity that really isn’t Sarah’s thing. Maybe it was all the 00s RnB I was listening to at the time (Note to self: did you ever play this tune to Beyonce? You might have missed a trick there).

No Way Back could have been the song that got us back in the charts. It’s vintage Dubstar with angsty lyrics, rolling beats and chiming guitars but the song went through a confusion of incarnations before being abandoned. Tim Mason did a version in Malta, Paul Tipler did a mix in Peckham, I think Stephen Hague had a go at some point. I’ve even tried it with Tom Sanderson of the Propolis post-Dubstar. But it’s never, ever come out right, and I don’t know why.

At some point you have to admit defeat with a song, maybe you’ve heard it too often. Or maybe (whisper it) the song isn’t actually that good in the first place?

We’ll probably never know. But thanks for trying everyone.

Round and Round

Written by STEVE Hillier & Cat Goscovitch

When April 2004

Where Hove, Sussex

Originally sung by Cat Goscovitch

Features FXpansion’s BFD, YAMAHA CP-70B

Spotify Link

“I’m learning how to spin myself around”

It was a new decade. Dubstar was dead. Sarah had been singing with Client for a short while, there was No Way Back, as the song goes. I had no choice but to move forward…

So at the end of 2003, Claire and I spent a surprisingly cold December in the villa at Puerto Banús to avoid the Sussex winter and get ready for the arrival of Landon Pigg for a writing session in early 2004. This was to be a pivotal time, and like so many pivotal times it was impossible to know in advance. I’d worked out that it was cheaper to fly to Málaga and then back up to Newcastle than to get a direct train from Brighton. So we spent ten days in the fading Costa Del Sun, then returned to England to stay with Claire’s sister, now a doctor, on Edmonton Street in Jesmond before heading off to Cheshire for Christmas.

Two important things happened. Firstly, on arrival in Jesmond I immediately fell ill with a virus. This meant I spent the evening in bed watching the first run of Peep Show. Claire and I had neglected to repair our TV at the beginning of that year, and without a set, there was no way we could watch Channel 4. We haven’t had a TV since, but I manage to watch the entirety of Peep Show every couple of years anyway.

The following night we went to a party at Roger Newbrook's house in Jesmond Vale. Roger is a dear friend who’d supplied artwork for The Joans, was instrumental in my meeting Sarah ten years previously and designed the front cover for Cocteau Twins’ Lullabies to Violaine. Cat Goscovitch was there. We’d met a couple of times before, but she didn’t remember. First time was at Middlesbrough Arena where I’d fallen in love with her band ‘Billy Rain’. So much so that I’d gone to see her again at Newcastle University later that year. She would go on to do a harder, more contemporary version of Billy Rain as Nut… inexplicably neither incarnation graced the charts in the 90s, and barely exist on Youtube. We’d not been introduced, but after a few drinks, I rescued her from the attentions of Sarah’s ex-boyfriend and got talking. Turns out we had a lot in common and the next year we got working. Cat and I wrote a couple of dozen songs, the idea being that we would form a new group, have some hits and probably fall out after a couple of years, Dubstar style. We didn’t get that far, and I’m not sure why.

Cat is a star in every sense. She has a unique way of writing, singing, dancing, even talking…all of which are amazing in the true sense of the word. This probably explains why she ended up being signed so many times in the 90s (and making top dollar too). I loved working with Cat, we never fell out, but we work in such fundamentally different ways that no matter how many times we tried, and we did try MANY of times, the spark didn’t ignite. We both know what needs to happen in order for an act to work…and we didn’t find it together.

But there are some fantastic songs from that time, and Round and Round is one. It amazes me how Cat can just pull hooky lines out of nowhere that mean something. They also add to the sense of the character you’re hearing in the song. That’s her key skill, and that character survived when Sarah sang the song too. A highlight of this Dubstar era, Round and Round features some simple Chris chiming and a soaring chorus that Sarah completely owned, just like she’d owned Manic ten years earlier.

The Future

Written by STEVE Hillier

When September 2006

Where Hove, Sussex

Originally sung by SARAH BLACKWOOD

Features Fender Rhodes, Yamaha CP-70B, Korg MS-20, Korg Mono/poly

“I didn’t know that there was extra time to play”

And with the recording of this song, Dubstar was back in the room.

I had a bit of a problem. I was happy. There were no pressing issues in my life, nothing much going on politically, it was the mid 00s, everything was fine. So, what to write about? The answer was to turn my attention to Sarah herself. There was never any shortage of things to comment on. So The Future, which we regularly talked about as being a single although we weren’t sure what that would mean, was written with the idea of someone trying to get her life back together. I consciously decided to use the same approach to writing this song as I had done with Stars…one chord sequence rolling over throughout, a break two thirds of the way through, spacious sounding arrangement and a big chorus. It would have sounded great on the radio. Why mess with the songwriting process now?

There are at least two versions of ‘The Future’. The first features my Rhodes piano on vamping bass line duties, the second is a much more open feel, another try for the song and for the reformation. Stephen Hague did a great mix of it too. 

The Sweetest Love Song

Written by STEVE Hillier

When April 2008

Where Hove, Sussex

Originally sung by Sarah Blackwood

Features EXS24

“Sing the sweetest love song to the bravest heart”

Now was the time to make a public statement, be on a political mission. Things had become so febrile during the early days of the financial crash that even Dubstar could make a stand. Should make a stand.

Of course, looking back this was ridiculous. From today’s perspective, looking out at the future of the UK post corona virus and pre-Brexit, it seems that in 2008 we’d never had it so good. But there’s long been this sense of ‘help! Everything’s going wrong’ in the human psyche, particularly in my writing. Maybe this is what we all are, flapping machines? Maybe no matter what’s going on around you, there will always be an underlying sense of crisis? This angst would end up in one of my songs some day, it’s the end of the world as we know it.

So, today in April 2008 was the day to write about it, I knocked out a pretty good melody and…

One peculiar thing about this song: the energy in the chorus goes down, not up, meaning that rather than being a big moment, it’s actually a pause. This was an idea that I’d taken from The Cardigan’s ‘Favourite Game’. According to Solveig, when the song was first demoed it was a full on blast from start to finish, but at some point during its development someone (probably Tor) had come up with the idea of pausing in the chorus for a sense of contrast. It worked well, and as I’ve said before if it’s good enough for The Cardigans, it’s good enough for Dubstar.

My song wasn’t anywhere near as good, but sounded great in Gavin’s studio. Sarah liked it too, and Tim Mason did a rather solid job of mixing it in Malta. 

They’ve Got Nothing On Me

Written by STEVE HILLIER

Released when April 2007

Originally sung by Andy Love

Features EXS24, Korg MS-20

“What’s in your pockets mate?”  

This song was not written for Dubstar. Instead, it was one of many songs that emerged from my period as a pro-writer, with the notable difference that They’ve Got Nothing On Me is not a co-write. It’s my response to the endless stream of ‘Landfill Indie’ releases, but not because I wanted to participate. Every now and then I’d spot an entry on the songwriter’s cast list where some label somewhere was looking for a ‘Britpop’ or ‘Indie’ smash hit, usually for an artist who had nothing to do with that musical culture but fancied the idea of being ‘credible’. This was a rare occurrence, but it happened one day back in 2007, so I thought I ought to give it a go. After all, who knew more than me about indie pop in the 00s? Answer: almost everyone.

They’ve Got Nothing On Me is the tale of someone running away from the Police, much like Supergrass’s Caught By The Fuzz. And it has a terrific chorus, even if I do say so myself.

There are three versions of this song, my own Dubstar version and one completed by Paul Tipler. There’s also my original with Andy Love singing the vocals. In 2012 Sarah brought in Paul to complete the mixes of three tunes that she thought were needed to move the Dubstar project forward: No Way Back, Everything’s Alright and They’ve Got Nothing On Me. Paul had worked with Sarah with some of the Client material, is a superb mixer and did a good job on all three. Of course, this didn’t solve anything. The problem at that late stage with Dubstar was not the mixing, but the publishing, as I discovered shortly after.

Tiny Secrets

Written by STEVE HILLIER

When April 2007

Where Hove, Sussex

ORIGINALLY SUNG BY Sarah Blackwood

FEATURES EXS24, Roland CR-78, Yamaha CP-70B

“The laws of the universe do not apply to me”

I played this song to my in laws sitting on this same sofa exactly eleven years ago. They liked it, I liked it, and we agreed we should get it out there. Show the world that Dubstar are back! Soon. Hopefully.

Tiny Secrets probably had more in common with the writing of Make It Better than United States of Being. I was inspired by something Cat had said in one of her typically off-the-cuff but hilarious musings:

‘but..the laws of the universe do not apply to me, Steve’

I’d spent the previous 35 years feeling that way too. What a perfect subject for a song, the ultimate English Exceptionalism. But rather than sit down with the CP-70B and write a new melody or chord sequence, I plugged in my ancient Roland CR-78 drum machine to lay down a rhythmical bed for a new song. I’d recently interviewed John Foxx who had told me that he loved how the drum sounds were so small from that machine. Me too, and now I had a title: “Tiny Secrets”. Not the last time I’d be inspired by John Foxx for a title either.

This song is now just one of the minor entries in the songwriting from this year but still sounds sharp. Although we didn’t write it together, it has both mine and Cat’s DNA in it. That makes me smile. 

United States of Being

Written by STEVE Hillier

When January 2007

Where Hove, Sussex

ORIGINALLY SUNG BY Sarah Blackwood

FEATURES EXS24, Yamaha CP-70B, Korg MS-20

“The state of our union”  

Since Trump came along I’ve been obsessed with American politics. How could you not be?

But in the pre-crash days of early 2007, it was the language of politics that fascinated me, not the people involved. And given just how much politics there was in Dubstar, almost all unstated, I thought I’d write a tribute to the three of us using the American vernacular, something about the state of our own union.

‘United States of Being’ is a combination of ‘United States of America’ and a quote from Steptoe and Son. In a fit of confusion and frustration, Harold has to explain to his dad that incommunicado isn’t a place, it’s a ‘state of being’. Hilarious in its original context, it felt perfect for Dubstar too.

United States of Being has one of my favourite self-penned choruses, a true anthem. Sarah sounds amazing, Chris plays his signature chimes but this time significantly lower in pitch than usual, and it sounds great. Powerful, purposeful, exactly the kind of song you’d want to either open or close an album. But unfortunately…

When You Leave

Written by STEVE HILLIER

When April 2008

Where Hove, SUSSEX

FEATURES EXS24, KORG MONO/POLY

SPOTIFY LINK

 “When you leave, take the space between too ”

<text redacted>

You and me

Written by STEVE Hillier & Emma Kirby

When April 2007

Where Cardiff, Wales

ORIGINALLY SUNG BY Emma Kirby

FEATURES Yamaha CP-70B, Fender Rhodes

“All we’ve been through’  

Of all the songs we recorded for this first re-union attempt, this is my favourite. It just works. Emma’s melody, our words, Chris’s guitar, the soaring Yamaha CP-70B parts (which would set the template for the next thirty songs), Sarah’s voice. It’s not a single, nor is it a new Day I See You Again. But it is the only song from this period that I ever put on for my own pleasure, the song I play when people ask ‘what did the Dubstar reformation sound like?’.

Emma and I wrote this in a converted barn next to a swimming pool with a view of the Avon on a beautiful summer’s day (they were all sunny days at her place). Emma was on low power as usual (turned out she had glandular fever at the time), but creatively in full flow. We played this song live together a few times too. Ah, what could have been…

Emma is now making house music as Elkka and doing superbly well. We’ve collaborated on several occasions since and remain firm friends. 

BELieving

WRITTEN BY STEVE HILLIER & CAT GOSCOVITCH

WHEN JULY 2004

WHERE HOVE, EAST SUSSEX

ORIGINALLY SUNG BY CAT GOSCOVITCH

FEATURES YAMAHA CP-70B

“surprise me and say what you mean"

Another terrific song that Cat and I wrote together and was used in the early stages of United States of Being. There is no version of this song with Sarah singing it though, at least I don’t remember making one and if I did I can’t find it anywhere. 

But there is one with Cat singing it that ended up on the Dubstar Myspace page. That’s how this song came back to me so many years later, when a fan sent it over saying he’d found a tune that was labelled ‘Dubstar’ on Limewire (an old filesharing network, long gone now) but wasn’t sure it was genuine. It was, he was amazed, I was astounded that I’d forgotten it, and now it’s yet another songwriting entry in the long development of the fourth Dubstar album. 

I have a suspicion that the reason why Sarah never sang this song was because I didn’t think it would work for her. So many of Cat’s songs depend on her own inflexions and expressions to come alive. Sarah doesn’t sing like Cat in any way, so I think I shied away from suggesting we do this one. I also think Chris and I recorded this song during the period when Sarah was otherwise occupied with Client. My recollection is a bit blurry.

Still, it is a great song. I’m tempted to dust it down and put out the Cat version sometime…